I ****'d up big time

I ****ed up big time
This poem doesn't even rhyme

I left the bath on,
And went away on holiday.
It's got no overflow.
The neighbours downstairs weren't too pleased.

I missed the interview.
I overslept for my exam.

I broke a prize antique,
Smashed on the floor of my mother-in-law.
It was an accident.
I'm sure she doesn't believe me though.

I threw my keys away.
I thought I'd clear my pockets out.

I wrote an email,
Composed for my worst enemy.
Addressed it wrong though.
Instead it went off to the boss.

I missed the aeroplane,
I was a whole week late in fact.

I left the handbrake off,
And parked the car on a 3 in 1,
My car was fish food,
The sea view was so lovely though,

I lost my creditcard,
And put the pincode on the net.

I dropped my juggling balls,
I laughed so loud in a funeral,
I set the house on fire,
And drilled a hole in my boat -it sank.

I've missed the deadline,
For normal human personhood.

Oh I ****ed up big time
But actually I'm still alive
I ****ed up big time,
But I'm just fine.

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